


Blue or Gray

by CaptainSchmoe



Series: Stuff Inspired by Stuff from This Little Septiplier Community That I’m In [3]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crying, Dating, Dogs, Double proposal, Flowers, Fluff, Inappropriate Jokes, M/M, Romance, Soulmate AU, Sudden Death, Tragedy, brief mention of Mark having a non-Youtube job, implied sex, proposal, the Shaft of Sadness is coming and it’s coming HARD, you guys better prep your emotional buttholes for this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 10:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16324529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainSchmoe/pseuds/CaptainSchmoe
Summary: Soulmate AU. You see the world in black and white until you meet your soulmate, at which point the world turns to color. Should your soulmate die, the world will turn back to black and white.Jack and Mark are soulmates who’ve been together for a year now and want to get married. There’s death. Don’t get too wrapped up in all that fluffy buildup.





	Blue or Gray

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Tumblr users teresadragon, bing-iplier, invissible-account, and an anon for all their wonderful ideas, and septiplyer for giving us a space to share them (and for having such funny reactions lol).

Ring concealed in one of the inside pockets of an otherwise-unnecessary jacket, Jack made his merry way down the bustling streets of L.A. back to his home away from home, the unhindered bounce in his step being the only other clue that he was hiding something near and dear to him. Something he hoped would sufficiently make up for the gift of Mark’s old house that the man himself had dropped on him without expecting a dime in return.

 _It’s nothing_ , he’d said. But for Jack, it was everything. Or, if not everything, then at least far more than enough.

It was enough that Mark made him see the world in color.

It was enough that Mark was willing to travel with him to everywhere they’ve been, and everywhere they haven’t, to see it all in shining, sparkling blues and reds and greens and purples.

It was enough that Mark held his hand as they sat on the rooftop looking at the pink and orange skies of sunset, then the deep navy blue of an impending starry night.

It was enough that Mark told him stupid jokes - and laughed at Jack’s - with his feet propped up on the rich, brown coffee table, leaning back into the multicolored, striped cushions of the couch.

It was enough that Mark’s cheeks turned a rosy pink whenever Jack kissed his nose; how his brown eyes went soft and his golden heart melted whenever Jack came up with some new way to describe how drop-dead gorgeous he was.

So, this ring... Jack felt the square lump in his pocket. This ring, and this plan, was the only thing that could properly convey Jack’s gratitude. He just couldn’t think of a way to do it otherwise.

 

* * *

 

“You know what‘s coming up next week?”

“‘Course I do.” Mark glanced back over his shoulder at Jack lying on his back on the bed, grinning with the kind of pride that filled Jack’s heart. “It’s the day we met. You thought I’d forget?”

“You forget a lot of things you shouldn’t.”

Jack laughed at Mark’s overly-pouty scowl.

“You know I’d forgive you... maybe.” His head turned to face up towards the ceiling, and he sighed. “Our first anniversary.”

“Kinda, I guess.” Mark pulled out a pair of pajama pants - light, short, and plain sky blue - and slipped them on. “Don’t you have to be married to call it that, though?”

“Mm... How about Color Day, then?”

Mark clicked the lamp off and curled up next to him. “Color Day sounds good.”

“You say as you turn off the light.”

“That’s ‘cause I’m _tiiired_ ,” he whined. “I wanna _sleeeep_.”

“You big baby.” Jack laid his arm over Mark’s side.

“I wanna head out _tomorrooow_.”

“What for?”

“To buy you a present,” he mumbled.

 _Aw._ Jack rubbed his back. “Whatcha gettin’?”

“I ain’t telling.” Mark rolled onto his stomach, an invitation for Jack to keep rubbing. “If you try to find out, I’m gonna...” His next words, Jack wasn’t sure he heard correctly. It sounded like...

“You’re gonna _cock_ me?”

“I’m gonna _clock_ you. Cuh- _llllll_ ock.”

“Gotcha.”

“That other one’s hardly a punishment.”

“Slightly more of a punishment for you than for me, if I’ll be honest here. We both know how much you prefer rece-”

Mark cut him off mid-sentence with a light slap on the cheek. “ _That’s_ what I’m gonna do.”

Jack giggled. “All right, fine. I won’t try to find out and I’ll let you go to sleep.” He flopped over to his side of the bed, though Mark reached out and grabbed his hand. He didn’t say anything, it wasn’t a grab for attention - he must have just been in a mood to be touching Jack in some way.

100% A-okay with Jack, as he indicated to Mark with a light squeeze of his fingers.

 

* * *

 

With Mark out getting him an unknown something, Jack went to work making a cute little cardboard sign as part of his proposal.

_Daddy! Papa wants to tell you something! He’s upstairs!_

Hehe... Perfect. Jack would just have to pretend his chicken scratch was part of the charm. “Chica?” he called. “Chica, look!”

Chica padded over to him and sniffed the sign.

“Lemme just...” Jack tied the string around her collar, and stood up to look at her from above. Yeah... that’d work. Mark would have to crouch down to see, but he did that whenever he petted her, anyway.

Chica didn’t seem to care that there was a piece of cardboard dangling around her neck. Figured as much. Girl didn’t care about shit, as long as she was fed and watered and petted.

Now he’d have to hide this thing. Maybe under the mattress, hoping and praying that Mark wouldn’t have a reason to lift it up between now and then.

 

* * *

 

Every day, he replayed his plan in his head over and over again. Especially, he couldn’t stop thinking about how he was going to present the question itself.

Should he provide the buildup, to explain to Mark just how much he meant to him, before doing the classic knee drop? Or should he just casually pop the question with no fanfare, because he was damn sure a long-winded speech would lead him stammering and stuttering and fucking it up? Agh, but what if Mark is caught too off-guard, or what if he likes grander romantic gestures, or-

“Jack?”

“Gah!”

“You okay?”

Mark had his hand on Jack’s shoulder, ripping him out of his chaotic headspace and back into the dining room.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine.”

“You just seem like you’re stressing yourself out over something? Are you really okay? I’m here to talk.”

“I guess... I don’t know, I’m just worried about the date?” Shit. Fuck. Shit. That was gonna give it away for sure. Fuck.

Maybe he imagined it, but Jack swore he saw Mark’s belly twitch in the faintest, tiniest hint of stifled laughter. He knew what was going on, didn’t he? Still, even if he did, he played along. “Jack, you don’t have to worry about nothing. You know who I am and what I’m like.” He raised his arms. “Do I look like the kind of guy who demands that dates be five-star, picture-perfect or they’re ruined? Hell, you could ask me out to play with you in the ball pit at McDonald’s and I’d be happy.”

With the stained and faded T-shirt he’d had for... did he say eight years? No, he didn’t look like that kind of guy. And knowing his personality, Jack felt extra-stupid. That was the worst excuse. Mark _absolutely_ knew what was going on.

Guess that helped him decide in favor of the casual, no-buildup version.

 

* * *

 

Today was Color Day, and that meant tonight was Date Night. On his way to Mark’s house, he’d stopped by the flower shop for an absolutely stunning bouquet - roses, lilies, carnations, and more that he couldn’t remember the names of - in enrapturing hues of reds, pinks, purples, and whites, complete with a glass vase. Mark was gonna love this.

Jack kept a hand in his front pocket, always feeling the ring and making sure it was still there, that it hadn’t somehow evaporated on him. Kept wrapped snugly within a fold of tissues, he was sure, on a cognitive level, that it wasn’t going to be lost. But emotionally, the fear gnawed at the back of his head.

Here he was at Mark’s front door. He’d gotten here a solid hour earlier than he said, and thus he’d beaten Mark home from work. But he had to make this quick.

He unlocked the door - they had the keys to each other’s houses, and often made themselves home on little to no notice - and slipped inside, with Chica prancing to the door to greet him.

“Hi, puppy.” Setting the flowers on the living room coffee table, Jack ruffled her ears and kissed the top of her head. “I got a job for you.” He hurried up the stairs and into Mark’s bedroom, retrieving the sign from under the mattress and taking it back to Chica. “Here you go.” He tied it to her collar.

This way, he could get the proposal done and over with before the date so he wouldn’t freak out so much during. There... there was no way Mark would say no, right?

Right? He was his soulmate. The person he’d have the best shot at having a happy, healthy, lifelong relationship with. And Mark loved his company, and he loved hugging and kissing and snuggling with him, and he loved telling stupid jokes and playing stupid games with him, and and and...

Jack mentally smacked himself. _Shut up. It’ll be fine._

He went to his “hiding” spot upstairs and waited.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, bubba! Hey, Chica-Bica! Whatcha got there?”

Mark knelt down, reading the piece of cardboard on her neck.

...He knew it. He absolutely knew what was going on here. This was gonna be hilarious.

A vase full of warm, brightly-colored flowers caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. He headed towards it. Partly to look closely and feel and smell them - they were absolutely wonderful - but mostly because his gift for Jack was hiding in the drawer here.

Good thing he obviously didn’t look.

 

* * *

 

Jack anxiously sat on the bed, bouncing his feet, having heard Mark enter downstairs. His fingers rolled over the ring in his shirt pocket again and again. This was it. This was the moment. He better not fuck this up.

With every footstep up the stairs, Jack’s heart beat ever harder, damn near busting straight out of his rib cage. He tried a few deep breaths to calm himself, eyes shut, attempting to relax...

“Hey.”

“Ahh!”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, you burglar.” Mark closed the door behind them, ensuring no puppos would interrupt them. “A little birdie told me you want to tell me something?”

“Uh, y-yeah... Come here.” Jack patted a spot on the bed next to himself. Mark took it.

Oh, God, now Jack was a fucking deer in the headlights, about to be turned into roadkill. He froze. His brain forgot all of the words. He stammered. “Uh... Mark, I, uh... I w-want to ask you...” He swallowed, and rubbed the hidden ring some more. “I’m sorry, I can’t-”

“Here.” Mark stuck his hand in his front pants pocket. “Let me make this easier for you.” He held out his hand to Jack.

In it was a ring.

Jack’s jaw dropped.

“Are you fucking serious.”

“I never fuck un-serious.” Mark let out a hearty laugh, which encouraged Jack to give a weak, embarrassed one of his own.

Jack pulled out his own ring, staring down at it. “Well, that didn’t exactly go as planned.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Mark wrapped his arm around him and kissed his cheek. “It was funny. It was memorable. Who wants a boring, by-the-script proposal? Not this guy.”

Jack was starting to calm down. A little. God, he was crying, he was so happy.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” _Sniff._ “Just really emotional right now. I got myself anxious worrying about what if you said no. Like, I tried to tell myself that you wouldn’t, but I couldn’t stop the thought.”

“It’s okay.” Mark squeezed him with both arms, rocking him like a baby. “Brains are stupid sometimes.”

“Especially our brains.”

“Especially our brains.”

The conversation trailed off, replaced by the warm and silent comfort of Mark’s body wrapped around him, of his heartbeat in Jack’s ear, slowing his own down. He doesn’t want this to end, but...

“We got a date to go on, don’t we?”

“Yeah... You up to go now?”

“Yeah.” Jack rubbed his eyes dry. “I’m hungry.”

 

* * *

 

They didn’t intend on both falling asleep at Jack’s house, but that was how it ended up. Hell, Jack would have probably stayed asleep for longer, despite the sun cracking through the blinds, if Mark didn’t suddenly bolt out of bed yelling, “Chica!” and scrambling to get all his clothes in order.

Oops.

“I’m sorry, Mark, I didn’t mean to keep you the whole night-”

“No, no, no, that’s fine, you did nothing wrong. Just got caught up in all the emotions and totally forgot. Both of us.”

“I did say you always forget things you shouldn’t.” Jack stared as Mark tripped over his own feet getting his pants on. “You know, I’m sure she can handle an extra two minutes if it means you don’t crack your head open against my dresser.”

Mark slowed down, realizing Jack had a point. “Yeah, okay. Sorry. Just got worried about her.” He slipped on his shirt and wiped some stray hairs off his pants.

Jack went over to smooth out his wildly-flailing hair, and gave him a quick peck on the nose while he was there, making Mark’s lips curl into a soft smile. “That was a good date yesterday.”

“Yeah? I thought so, too.” Mark initiated another kiss on the lips, holding it for a couple seconds.

“We should go out more often.”

“But we don’t see each other very often. You live halfway across the world.”

“I could move here if you want.”

Mark’s eyes lit up a bit. Jack chuckled, patting his chest.

“I shouldn’t keep you any longer. You gotta go home to Chica.”

“Uh, yeah, I should.”

Jack put on some underwear and followed Mark out to the front door, giving him one last kiss before he left. “Love you, ya big doof.”

“Love you, too, scream boy.”

 

* * *

 

That afternoon, Jack was practically skipping to the jewelry store, ring safely tucked away in a deep pants pocket. The entire way there, thoughts on what it would be like to be married to Mark raced through his head. What would they do for last names? Would Jack take Mark’s, or would Mark take Jack’s, or would they hyphenate?

Seán William Fischbach. Seán Fischbach. Or Mark Edward McLoughlin. Mark McLoughlin. Ooh. _That_ sounded nice. Seán William McLoughlin-Fischbach, Mark Edward McLoughlin-Fischbach - now _that_ sounded fucking _royal_. Plus, it only seemed fair to him to keep both of their names. But that would have to be something they decided together.

Wonder if they would get any more dogs, or adopt any kids? Jack always wanted a kid, but was never sure if he’d have the time to properly play with them and talk to them and discipline them. But with Mark around, surely there’d always be someone looking after them. Assuming Mark wanted a kid. Again, that was something they’d have to decide together, and it was too early to be thinking about that, regardless.

But Jack really, really wanted to see Mark with a child. He pictured him first with a girl, then with a boy. Both were melting his heart. He just knew Mark would make a wonderful dad. Minus the dad jokes. Those were absolutely coming. Come to think of it, Jack would be telling the poor kid dad jokes left and right, too.

Honestly, that fact should make it illegal for married gay men to raise kids. Those poor kids.

He giggled to himself, noticing a woman walking down from the opposite direction looking at him oddly. The embarrassment stopped his thoughts in their tracks - but only temporarily, as he was nearing the jeweler.

 

* * *

 

He threw open the door, bells jingling and jangling and alerting the staff to his presence.

“Just need to get my ring fitted a little smaller,” he told them.

They could tell by the bounce in his step and the smile beaming across his face where the ring came from.

“Let me just get your measurements,” one woman said. “Just get engaged?”

“Yeah, and it’s kinda funny, he and I actually both proposed at the same time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was super nervous, and he was like, ‘Oh, lemme make things a little easier for you,’ and then he whipped out his own ring.”

The woman laughed. “Oh, my God, that’s incredible. I think he’s a keeper.”

“He _is_ my soulmate. He makes me so happy. I’ve literally never been happier in my whole life than I was yesterday.”

A huge grin spread across her face as she finished her measurements. “Okay, I’ll take that from you...” She plucked it from his fingers. “We’ll have it ready in about 15-20 minutes.”

Jack’s eyes went wide. No. No, that couldn’t be right.

“You can have a seat right out here if you’d like.”

The color from his hand, from the counter, from the woman, from the... the...

“Is something wrong?”

Jack’s whole body twisted and turned, complete disbelief, complete denial, with what was happening. No, no, no, no, no, _no, no, no, no, **no!!!**_

“Sir? Sir, are you okay?”

The colors were fading. The colors were fading to gray.

This couldn’t be right, could it? This was a nightmare. That was it. That had to be it. That just had to be-!

He buried his face into his arms on the counter.

“Sir!” The woman laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Everything’s black and white!” Jack screamed. “Everything’s black and white!” He lifted his head to double-check and make absolutely certain he wasn’t just making a scene for nothing.

Indeed, everything was still gray.

This couldn’t be happening. Not at the highest point of his life. Why did this have to be ripped away from him? What even happened? _Where was Mark!?_

“Mark!” he helplessly sobbed. _“MARK!”_

Patrons gathered around him, wondering what was going on. Most likely, they knew.

 

* * *

 

Jack wasn’t allowed to see what happened up close. Jack didn’t _want_ to see what happened up close. Not Mark. He didn’t want to see Mark like... like _that_. Not with such a horrible injury to his head, to... his face...

It was so hard to keep his decent morals and not wish death upon the speeder. Yet as soon as life gave Jack the most incredible gift he could have asked for, this asshole ripped it right out of his hands and smashed it against the pavement, painting it in thick gray blood with a scrap metal brush.

How could anyone be so selfish? Destroying someone else’s newfound joy for a fucking _thrill_?

He just... He couldn’t process it. Everything. Everything he had was just... gone. In an instant. And people tried talking to him, and people tried consoling him, and he simply couldn’t process what they were saying. Nothing meant anything.

 

* * *

 

The TV showed the face of the man who did this, and Jack was forced to turn it off. He couldn’t. He couldn’t handle it. He had too much to handle already.

He lay on Mark’s bed. This was where they were yesterday, when Jack tried and failed to propose, when Mark told him it was okay, when Mark held him in his huge, yet gentle arms... His soft, brown eyes. His warm, peach skin. His soothing heartbeat, his rhythmic breathing.

Only yesterday. Only yesterday was he on top of the world, believing himself to be the luckiest man alive, believing he was going to grow old with Mark, make a million memories with Mark, celebrate dozens and dozens more Color Days with Mark.

Today, that mountain was nuked underneath him, sending him plummeting to the bottom of a lonely crevice, buried in the rubble with no hope of escape.

And Jack found himself screaming into the sheets - the sheets that smelled like Mark - and sobbing and wetting them with his tears and snot and despair.

_I will never be happy again._

**Author's Note:**

> Here are all the offending asks, for your convenience:
> 
> https://septiplyer.tumblr.com/post/179085565820/an-idea-where-everything-is-black-and-white-until  
> https://septiplyer.tumblr.com/post/179097586424/i-bet-you-jack-was-shopping-for-an-anniversary  
> https://septiplyer.tumblr.com/post/179097660909/what-if-it-was-a-wedding-ring  
> https://septiplyer.tumblr.com/post/179098607184/what-if-it-was-their-first-anniversary-of-dating  
> https://septiplyer.tumblr.com/post/179098872879/talking-about-that-black-and-white-idea-what-if  
> https://septiplyer.tumblr.com/post/179099207924/dont-imagine-jack-bouncing-up-and-down-grinning  
> https://septiplyer.tumblr.com/post/179102259924/honestly-i-feel-like-everything-going-black-and
> 
> Bonus:  
> https://septiplyer.tumblr.com/post/179099222329/cant-speak-for-teresadragon-but-i-feel-exactly


End file.
